Blame it on the weather

It's summer vacation!

Vacation?! Really?!

Nope.

So for the summer, I'm working at two different places. From Monday to Wednesday, I am working with a website called http://www.petside.com/ (please visit the site to increase our traffic and become a fan on Facebook, thanks), which is a part of Digital Media with NBC. So TECHNICALLY, I'm an NBC intern. I have my NBC badge and all to prove it. What the website has anything to do with NBC, I have yet to find out, but I am an NBC intern because we are still part of NBC. This is how I rationalize working 24 hours a week without pay.

On Thursdays and Fridays, I'm continuing my part-time job working at the architecture firm at which I've been since September, doing the same mundane task all day, everyday.

On weekends, I'm at church serving in various capacities. If I don't need to be at church on a particular Saturday, I go home to Westchester to spend time with my parents. I can't even stay up late on Fridays because I have weekly conference calls Saturday mornings at 10:30.

I'm currently at work, not really doing my job, and sulking over my lame summer. I finally brought in the right headphones so I can plug them into my computer and listen to Pandora. During this time, Jeremy Camp came up on my Pandora with "It is Well."

There's a story that goes along to the creation of this song and it is sad. Much sadder than the story that is described above. Out of conviction, my summer shall instead look like this:

I will work at NBC and try to create connections, hopefully opening doors to a full-time position post graduation so I don't have to go to grad school.
I will be a freaking good daughter so that after this summer as I go back to school, my parents will be thinking about what a great summer they had with their awesome daughter.
I will serve God mightily at QHC and in AACF with a humble heart and a teachable spirit.
I will continue learning the joys of solitude.
I will say all summer that it is well with my soul.

Dang, God is so good at rebuking me through music.

Marketing

One of my Marketing classes is pretty useless. Thus far, I have yet to learn anything different from the advertising class I took last semester. That is why I am here during class instead of paying attention. My other Marketing, however, is kicking my butt. I spent way longer than I should have writing my one page portion of our group case study. Not to mention that I spend every class slouched down, hiding behind the people in front of me with my head down, praying every minute of that class that I won't get called on. I don't know what I was thinking in taking a class in the business school. They're no fun over there.

So now is about the time that juniors are scurrying around looking for internships over the summer. With the way things are going, a lot of us are having trouble finding jobs, or at least finding as many opportunities as we would have under different circumstances. I'm getting a little worried. By no means am I impressive on paper or in person (I suck at interviews), so I might be kind of screwed. Maybe I should take classes about marketing myself rather than marketing other companies.

By the way, I just noticed a bunch of people taking notes and now I'm thinking that maybe I should start paying attention. He just asked us a question. I don't know what he asked.

Oh, and I made an entirely inappropriate comment in small group yesterday. Not only was it a sexual joke, but I lead this small group. Now you know what I'm talking about being unable to market myself?

Okay, I'll pretend to pay attention now... or look at more jobs.

My bed - my first love

The thought that my winter vacation is ending in less than a week saddens me. As a matter fact, I am currently webcamming with three others as we plan our spring semester small group promotional video. We've finally decided on a song for our music video and it was basically going to be amazing. We also planned what we're going to study too with our small groups, so we did some holy and spiritual things. I don't think that our promotional video will contain any blasphemy. We'll try our very best.

I've spent an immense amount of time alone this break. Usually, people use this time to catch up with those they haven't seen in a while. But no, I've chosen to stay in my bed a majority of the time. Not only did I stay in my pajamas each day, but I also managed to finish five whole dramas (currently on my 6th). So it wasn't a productive break entirely, but it taught me how much fun I am. I don't need other people.

Except that I do. I might rot if I continue this lifestyle for much longer. I think one month is my limit.

I've begun applying for internships. I'm really excited to probably not get paid this summer.

Spring semester is on the horizon. Woot.

Because it's finals week...

Because it's finals week, about now seems to be the most appropriate time for me to make a blog. I've always prided myself in my productiveness.

I spent a long time trying to think of a serious name for this blog because I'm trying to learn how to be more serious. I might have half succeeded in this attempt.

GRACE. I don't know if I've ever truly lived up to what my name means. I can analyze my gracefulness from two different standpoints:
> Does my presentation exude gracefulness? How about my poise? My speech? My mannerisms?
--> Sometimes, I like to act like a raptor. It's the NYU influence, not my fault.
--> My mom says that everything I touch, I break.
--> I've been known to trip here and there... or quite often. It's because I don't know where I'm supposed to be looking when I walk - my feet or straight ahead?
> Am I able to show grace to others? With all the grace that I receive, do I use it wisely and pour it on others as well?
--> Forgiveness is hard. You know what I'm talking about.

So, I guess it's pretty appropriate that people gave me the name Graceless. Some of it are things to embrace, the rest is something to be worked on. So half serious? Yeah? What do you think Pam Chan?

And thus this blog has been formed.